I caught the GoldenEye bug in a big way. I played it non-stop for months, even through some of the most frustrating challenges in video game history. Aztec level on 00 Agent, anyone? I earned every cheat, competed against myself for lower and lower mission times, played multiplayer compulsively, searched out every glitch and secret under the sun, even used my GameShark to probe the game's hidden depths and find things the game developers never intended to see the light of day.

And then came Perfect Dark.

Better weapons. Smarter enemies. Bigger and more complex levels. More varied and interesting objectives. Truly infinite multiplayer options. A very cool original storyline. The most beautiful audio and visual environment imaginable on Nintendo 64. GoldenEye was instantly and forcefully pushed from my mind.

I can never play GoldenEye for more than a few minutes now. It just seems so boring after Perfect Dark. Everything from the control to the graphics to the weapons to the levels just seems so plain, flat, and unpolished. I suppose Perfect Dark has spoiled me.

Don't even get me started on GoldenEye's once groundbreaking multiplayer mode. It seems so limited now. Non-customizable characters. No Sims. No challenges. You can't even customize the weapons. Invisible walls around ledges. That stupid glitch where you could shoot someone with an automatic all day and only every third or fourth shot would count, totally defeating the purpose of an automatic. Ugh. How did I ever make due with this shoddy setup?

Honestly, I had one of those "What did I ever see in this game?" moments. GoldenEye went from perhaps a 9.5 rating to a 6.0 or 6.5 in my mind in just a few minutes. Comparing the two is like comparing a flashlight with the afternoon sun. Perfect Dark just drowns it out and makes it obsolete.

Perfect Dark is just more, and more is better. I don't understand people who claim to prefer GoldenEye. How could you want less? That's like saying you'd rather have ten dollars than one hundred.

Perfect Dark is the game that GoldenEye's designers wished they had the time, technology, and experience to make, but just didn't in 1996-1997. GoldenEye plays like a very rough demo for Perfect Dark.

I used to love GoldenEye, now I can hardly stand it.

Of course, there's always the "But GoldenEye is a classic!" response, but face facts, it may have value as a "classic" now, but Perfect Dark has forevermore taken away all of its value as a game and condemed it to mediocrity. GoldenEye will always be good, but it will never be Perfect. Agent 007 has finally met his match, and her name is Dark. Joanna Dark.

Sorry, James. Survival of the fittest, you know...

GoldenEye 007
1997-2000
RIP

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