First and foremost, be sure to check out Rare's official Perfect Dark rumor page. Frankly, I think they're being a little less than honest in a lot of cases (like the button codes...), but it's still an interesting read, whether you buy into their answers or not.

Collected here are questions from real Perfect Dark players, including me, along with Rare's responses. Enjoy.

One day whilst pondering why my previous missives to you went unpublished, it suddenly occurred to me that I neglected to include two very important things. So right now, I'd just like to take this opportunity to get them both out of the way:
Arse. Pants.
There. Now that I have included the two magic words, my latest attempt is a virtual lock for inclusion in your next column. Now, on to the questions, all Perfect Dark-related:
1. Why in Miyamoto's name don't you have the option to use the GoldenEye weapons in multiplayer! Was your lead programmer felled by an sudden heart attack before he could invest the five minutes (or less) it would have taken to implement this? I mean, the bloody game was in development for what, three years, and you don't have time to include this? You must have known that 90% of the people buying PD would be also be GoldenEye fanatics who would be really cheesed off by their inability to do this. Instead we have GoldenEye levels but no GoldenEye weapons. Why, Rare, why!?
2. Why not have solo levels levels in multiplayer? GoldenEye used slightly-modified solo levels like Facility and Archives for multiplayer maps, so why not Perfect Dark? My friends and I always talk about how cool it would be to have Combat Simulator matches in the Carrington Institute, Air Base, and Chicago streets.
3. Why did you include so much crazy stuff like the grate in the Warehouse with the question mark and that keyhole thing in the Area 51 vents? It's just like the island in GoldenEye. If you guys really hate being perpetually bugged about this silly stuff, why did you include a bunch of similar useless but puzzling odds and ends in Perfect Dark? You know you're going to be pestered about them forever.
Well, that's it. Thanks for listening.
Will Mistretta

Sigh. 1) The GoldenEye guns are not in the 'bloody' multiplayer game for a variety of reasons. Here's some now:
- The PD weapons are better in every case.
- The team no doubt thought that other tasks were more worthy, such as making the simulants work and generally finishing the game off.
- There were potential licensing problems concerning ANYTHING to do with GoldenEye.
Time for a quote: "We are well aware how long the game was in development for. And if you think it would have taken five minutes to put the guns in, I can only say you must work for a videogames publisher in some capacity. Scheduling, perhaps."
2) Because the single-player levels were so detailed that they overloaded the memory of the machine in multiplayer mode. If you can think of a better reason for leaving something out, please do tell.
3) We don't always hate being bugged about these things - sometimes it provides a free source of amusement. And we'll only be pestered forever by people who just won't accept our answers, i.e. "In most cases there's no real reason" and "It was for a laugh". If there's any justice, these people will all be crushed by falling pianos in the street.

i'v heard that in Perfect Dark there is a "goust enimei". is that true? and if not why did i die when i had left a multi play game on over night with no other players and sims? when i woke up the screen said "press start"
sendml

"There is no 'goust enimei' (Ghost Enemy?) in Perfect Dark, and the reason the multiplayer game finished was probably due to the timer running out. To give a better answer I'd have to see what you've done to the settings, and I think I'd rather not." That's what the designer said, rubbing his temples as the familiar bi-monthly Scribes Migraine began to set in. But still there was more...

I have been surfing the net recently and I have found rumours of a certain ghost in Perfect Dark (N64). One of these things was of one individual who was playing on the Chicago level. He was going down into the Pond Punk bar when he heard screams. He got down the stairs and the doors were open (which they usually aren't). He went inside and found three dead bodies on the floor with crossbow bolts in them. He was just about to run like f**k when all of a sudden, he too was shot with a crossbow and died instantly.
Other reports on this ghost are that he is the ghost of non other than James Bond 007, who is seeking out revenge on Joanna for taking his place in the limelight. Are these rumours, sightings and reports true. If they are please tell me because it is scaring the sh*t out of me.
Taa.
Jc

Having asked around a few people on the team to get quotes on this, I've got responses ranging from "Why would James Bond use a crossbow? Jesus." to the cruelly ambiguous "Yes, there may well be a ghost in PD - when you see it, you'll know who..." So take your pick, squire. Me, I know naaaathing.

I would eat up a bunch of webspace with praises for the shooter-of-shooters Perfect Dark until the scroll tab became as thin as a dime, but there are probably plenty more people with nothing better to do who have already filled that position.
Anyway, I'd like to bring up The Pond Punk. It sure seems like such a big place to have such little significance. But considering there's what looks like a conference table in it, and that the limo is parked just outside, I was just wondering if The Pond Punk was the first intended place to hold the "conspirators' meeting"? This would make an interesting story. Or... it could be stupid and inane. Either way, let's hear it!
Tim Latshaw (RoboCT@yahoo.com)

My money's on stupid and inane. Let's find out: "The 'conference table' is used for certain kinds of 'meeting' between 'businesspersons' and 'clients'. If they have any 'personal business' that arises from their 'meeting', they take their 'concerns' over to one of the other tables, where they can 'work things out' in private. If you catch my drift. So, stupid and inane, then." Wahay!

I am a frequent user on the message boards at GameFAQs, and it turns out that there ARE in fact, push button codes for Perfect Dark. Someone known on the boards as "Laserflame" (iaserflame@aol.com) has hacked the game using a Gameshark to access the codes to get extra teams in the combat sim. Also, somehow he managed to convert the GS code into a pushbutton code. Unfortunately, no one but him knows what they are. Why? Because he has been PAID OFF to keep a lid on things by someone from Rare. You probably know all this, since someone from Rare paid him off. Now, my question. Why pay him off? You waited this long to release codes for Goldeneye, and now no one cares. Plus, the new teams code won't exactly affect the gameplay and replay value such as an invincibility cheat would. Everyone wants the extra teams code, but "Laserflame" has been silenced for FOUR MONTHS. FOUR MONTHS?!?! Why? Why keep it quiet?
-Adam Stanizewski

You're serious, aren't you? You're really serious... you people never fail to amaze me. Rare says there are no button codes in PD. Some stranger on a message board who doesn't use his real name and can't actually offer any kind of proof says that there are, and you fall over yourselves to believe every word. He's probably laughing himself stupid (well, more stupid) as we speak. I know, let's get the PD designer's take on it - after all, he's probably the one who paid him off in the first place, right? Right?
"'Unfortunately, no one but him knows what they are. Why?' I'd suggest you ask him. We hereby release him from any vows he has made to Rare, legal or otherwise. Tell the world, Mr. Laserflame. Sing your song to the waiting masses."

I have been a fan of Rare's games since Goldeneye. I recently learned that it had button codes, allowing me to finally access the invincibility cheat. A thought crossed my mind: If button codes existed in Goldeneye, then why not Perfect Dark? I immediately turned on Perfect Dark and accessed the cheat computer in the Institute. I entered a code and much to my dismay, no cheats activated. I tried six more. Nothing. I decided I would try one more. I have forgotten which cheat I entered, but this time something happened. In the Classic Weapons menu, I saw the DMC cheat had been activated. This cheat is normally activated by earning all gold metals in the firing range. I did not have all golds or even all weapons available. This lead me to believe that Perfect Dark does, indeed, recognize button codes. This is my question: Does PD really recognize button codes, or did something odd happen? If PD really has button codes, will you please send me a list of the rest?
Sincerely,
Agent Ice
(P.S. The DMC was the only classic weapon in my Classic Weapons menu.)

Anticipating a lot of hassle from this matter, I decided to resolve it once and for all by ducking a PD programmer's head in the pond until he went a funny purple colour. Interestingly, he still swore that there were no button codes included in the game, so either he's telling the truth or he's very nearly as hard as I am, and let's be realistic here - he's telling the truth.
The DMC cheat is activated by getting specific golds in the firing range, so you must have earned it without realising at an earlier stage. You thick git.

It was reported a long time ago that along with King of the Hill, Hacker Central, and a few other scenarios Touch That Box would be a scenario in Perfect Dark. The user was supposed to touch as many boxes as possible and turn them to his or her color. Where is that feature in Perfect Dark? If it is not there, why was it removed and exactly what was it?
Also, wasn't explodeable multi walls, flood-lighting, and no doors options for multi!?
And why can't the old guns be the old names? Why?
SKleiman

Straight to the point, no messing about with half-arsed insults or rambling on like a sad unfunny git for six paragraphs, I like it. Let's get the whole PD team in on this one:
"1) We played it extensively, it wasn't much fun, it got dropped. As for exactly what it was, you pretty much hit the nail on the head.
"2) These options were just in an early demo version and never made it to the final one.
"3) To avoid legal comebacks and other controversy."

Tell us the secret Perfect Dark button codes! We know they are there. All game developers use button shortcuts during playtesting. You are lying just like you lied about the GoldenEye codes for so long. We buy your games! We pay your salaries! We are your customers and we demand to know! Stop decieving us! Tell us the truth! Tell us the codes!
Al Bester

With a groan of despair to rival my own, the lead programmer says: "Just tell them NO THERE ARE NOT ANY BUTTON CODES!!! There's even a chance they might believe you."
Sadly, I don't think there is: logic, reason and basic trust are clearly beyond these people.
Look. We've told you that there are no push-button codes in PD. If there were, and we wanted to keep them quiet, we wouldn't address the issue at all. We wouldn't lie about it to your faces. Despite what you seem to think, we didn't do that with GoldenEye (the GE push-button codes were only ever intended for Testing purposes and were hacked, not officially released, at a later stage), and we've no intention of doing it now. Hey, thanks for your support!!!

Hello! I'm an avid player of Perfect Dark, (which is the crowning achievement of Rareware) so I'm registered at a PD forum. There is talk going around about some hidden Rooftop level, and I really wanted to know about it. Some people are saying that it's just another name for Car Park. I can see how that could happen.
"The name for this parking lot level is Rooftop."
"What the heck are you smoking? Call it Car Park."
Sorry, wanted to illustrate the point. Also, I've heard before that ALL the GE levels are in PD. (This was on the news page of a website, they said they got it from a valuable source too.) Is that really true? If so, I'd really like to be shooting off DY357s in the Bunker, or SuperDragons in the Stack.
And another thing about multiplayer levels. I've heard tell that there are more levels than what we have when we access all of the hidden levels. In fact, it seems you guys made the press release and then retracted it. Uh oh, dialogue again!
"Ken Lobb got drunk and told about the other levels!"
"Retract the statement!"
Okay, still more. There's something in the memory called a Maian Grenade. I'd just kinda like to know what that was. An N-Bomb? Plus, people were looking around conspiracy sites and found out that there are some alien races the government has covered up called "Nordics." I could have mispelled it. But if it's spelled backwards it kind of looks like Skedar, or sounds like it when you say it. Skedron. Huh.
Scott Capps, the magnum master and white dinner jacket wearer of PD multi

Okay, here's a couple of responses for you, one from a programmer's point of view:
"The Rooftop was NOT the Car Park. It was a level that was finished, but we decided not to leave it in the final version (for certain reasons). It was only in the BETA version of PD. So if you get a copy of the BETA version you can play it." (I hate you. - Ed)
"All the GE levels are not in PD. However, all the GE levels are in GE. Not all of the PD levels are in GE either.
"The Maian Grenade could have been a temporary name for the N-Bombs?"
All very nice and helpful. Now here's some designer input:
"Stop the beta nonsense. If he found anything 'in memory' then he was poking around with a Gameshark and should have parts of his stupid anatomy sliced off and cauterized by burning copies of the Bible."